God has forgotten to write my love story

Hi friends,

Lately, I’ve been feeling like God has forgotten to write my love story. I see people, Christians and non alike testifying about how God perfectly wrote their love story and just how happy they are and I am left feeling like, WHAT ABOUT ME?

I’m waiting patiently. I’m avoiding unnecessary and temporary pleasures, I’m working on my RED FLAGS (read more about that HERE) yet, I still feel lonely and sometimes really alone. Am I the only one who feel this way? Like you’ve prayed or still praying, you haven’t settled, your heart is open but nothing is happening?

I start asking myself What is wrong with me? Is God busy with everyone else love story? What about mine, has He forgotten to write my love story? Not only do I start questioning myself and pointing out all my flaws, I throw myself a huge self-pity party and invite fear, despair, hopelessness, and eventually the guest honor CONTROL over my own life. After I cry, I wipe my tears and tell God, if you WON’T, because I know He CAN, but if He WON’T sort out my love life then I’m going to take that task away from Him. He can handle everything else but that. Let me quickly tell you that, it NEVER ends well! hence why I am still single.

So listen friends, the response to the question if God has forgotten to write your love story is a big, I DON’T KNOW.  What I do know is that, God doesn’t forget. He will never forget us. Here is another truth, one I struggle to believe sometimes, God cares deeply about our desires. 

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalm 37:4

You can rest in that.

It might feel like God is not writing our love story because it doesn’t look like how we expected it to look like. For some of us, we may not know who we want exactly but we kind of have a time we’d like for our love story to begin, and how it should play out. We set ourselves up for disappointment when we do that. That isn’t completely trusting God with our love life.

But here is an idea

What if God is writing a much better and a much bigger love story than we could even expect. And maybe that is why it might be taking a little bit more time, MAYBE He is really shaping us for that epic love story we are going to be staring in.

So for the days where you feel like you handed the pen to God to write your love story and He isn’t. Just keep trusting and keep having faith and know that He is still writing it and has not forgotten any of us.

Just keep working on you and keep asking God to work on your heart. And keep waiting faithfully.

God is faithful!

Advertisements

Day 4: What makes you happy…

Things that make happyimg_0714

I sometimes find it strange how easily happy I can get but also how unimpressed I can be all at the same time. But I have learned that human beings are complex and two different beliefs and traits can exist in one person. All this to say, I am sharing a few things that bring me so much happiness…

  1. Donuts, warm chocolate chip cookies and warm cupcakes. FRIES!! Any of these things can easily lift my spirit and bring sincere happiness to my heart.
  2. Over-sized sweater I love Autumn for this very reason. Over-sized sweaters makes me feel pretty as well as put together. Over-sized sweaters make me feel comfortable and comforted. WOW. All this from a clothing item? yes sis!
  3. Conversations- Not just any type of conversation. Conversations where I leave feeling like I know the person more and deeply. Conversations that make me feel like I have been listened to. Conversations make me happy because it really makes me feel connected to peoples stories and I love hearing about peoples stories. People have so much to share.
  4. Accidental scripture I can relate to. I’m happy when I am reading scripture and I stumble on a verse and I FEEL like it was just for me.
  5. Books. Books make happy. It makes me the happiest!

Day 2: Today I give myself permission

To feel!

Today I give myself permission to be sad, mourn the loss, be down, cry, and feel everything. I give myself permission to be free and true to myself.

Lately, I’ve been choosing joy and hope and I have been doing a good job at it by the grace of God, of course. I know this because I can feel it and people have actually told me the difference they see me. Praise be.

I think because of the progress I’ve made, I’ve been dismissing any feeling that gets in the way of my joy or hope. But feelings of sadness and pain are real and must be acknowledged and worked through. Not working through the uncomfortable feelings is usually what builds up really bitter and dangerous feelings in our hearts.

Today, I give myself permission to acknowledge the fear and pain in my own heart. I also give myself permission to acknowledge that this world scares me. That the hurt and trauma people have gone through scares me. That the news scares me. I give myself permission to shed tears over my own personal disappointments and failures.

Today I wasn’t hopeful. I wasn’t joyful. I cried, out loud. I cried till my eyes were swollen and red.

Today, I give myself permission to not be upset with myself for crying.

Today I cried because the pastor preached about Jesus, the suffering servant.

Today, I cried because my heart was heavy and nothing would lighten it. My prayers, my songs, my shows, etc… nothing would lift the heavy load.

I give myself permission to accept that days like this will come…but

I know the night won’t last

I give myself permission to have faith and fear at the same time. To be discouraged and hopeful at the same time. To mourn but have joy at the same time. To the world, these things are complete opposite and can’t dwell in the same space. But for me, they can coexist.

I give myself permission to feel my own truths, but not depend on them as The Truth.

Today, I give myself permission to confess; there is still much work to be done in me. But I also give myself permission to keep my chin-up.