God has forgotten to write my love story

Hi friends,

Lately, I’ve been feeling like God has forgotten to write my love story. I see people, Christians and non alike testifying about how God perfectly wrote their love story and just how happy they are and I am left feeling like, WHAT ABOUT ME?

I’m waiting patiently. I’m avoiding unnecessary and temporary pleasures, I’m working on my RED FLAGS (read more about that HERE) yet, I still feel lonely and sometimes really alone. Am I the only one who feel this way? Like you’ve prayed or still praying, you haven’t settled, your heart is open but nothing is happening?

I start asking myself What is wrong with me? Is God busy with everyone else love story? What about mine, has He forgotten to write my love story? Not only do I start questioning myself and pointing out all my flaws, I throw myself a huge self-pity party and invite fear, despair, hopelessness, and eventually the guest honor CONTROL over my own life. After I cry, I wipe my tears and tell God, if you WON’T, because I know He CAN, but if He WON’T sort out my love life then I’m going to take that task away from Him. He can handle everything else but that. Let me quickly tell you that, it NEVER ends well! hence why I am still single.

So listen friends, the response to the question if God has forgotten to write your love story is a big, I DON’T KNOW.  What I do know is that, God doesn’t forget. He will never forget us. Here is another truth, one I struggle to believe sometimes, God cares deeply about our desires. 

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalm 37:4

You can rest in that.

It might feel like God is not writing our love story because it doesn’t look like how we expected it to look like. For some of us, we may not know who we want exactly but we kind of have a time we’d like for our love story to begin, and how it should play out. We set ourselves up for disappointment when we do that. That isn’t completely trusting God with our love life.

But here is an idea

What if God is writing a much better and a much bigger love story than we could even expect. And maybe that is why it might be taking a little bit more time, MAYBE He is really shaping us for that epic love story we are going to be staring in.

So for the days where you feel like you handed the pen to God to write your love story and He isn’t. Just keep trusting and keep having faith and know that He is still writing it and has not forgotten any of us.

Just keep working on you and keep asking God to work on your heart. And keep waiting faithfully.

God is faithful!

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5 Questions Before Your Next Relationship

92fdf65e-259d-4fc7-a7db-43f7ade94c7eHi friends,

With all the #relationship goals going on, I think most of us single people who desire relationship can rush into something we really aren’t ready for and it will definitely ruin us it terms of our time and emotions. Below I’ve listed some questions I think you need to ask yourself before your next relationship, this is my guide as well.

  1. Am I healed from my last relationship? If you’ve never been in a relationship, you can skip this. But for the folks who have, you really need to do a self-assessment and really figure out if you are over the last relationship. Notice, I didn’t say if you are over the person. I think for most people, it is the relationship and its possibilities they hang on to not the person. So you really have to figure out if you are ready to have something completely new that isn’t like your previous relationship, not better than, but just different. Are you over the familiar and are you ready for change? does that make sense?
  2. What am I looking for in a person? When I was younger I didn’t believe in making a check-list of the person I wanted because I felt like I had to follow it to a T but that isn’t what I am saying. What I am saying is that, IF you are looking, you have to know what you are looking for. My pastor always say, you have to have  list of non-negotiable, these are things you will not compromise on, but we need not be strict on EVERYTHING on our list. But we do need a guide, so do write a list of what you want in a person.
  3. What am I looking for in a relationship? Similar to what I said above, list what you want your relationship to look like. If you want a relationship that looks like going to book store on a Saturday to just read, put that down. Trust me, I know a relationship is more than shared hobbies, but I’ve heard it really sustains a relationship. Also, define for yourself what it means to date and be in a relationship and whether you want marriage out of it or not. If you aren’t someone who wants to date for 2 years, definitely list that. That is something that you can compromise on, but make your desires known to at least yourself. That will at least let you know if you are giving up too much and deviating.
  4. Did I grow from my last relationship? I know we all like to blame a failed relationship on the other party because you know? it makes us feel good. BUT, deep down we all know we contributed to things not working out. Some relationships don’t end badly, sometimes it just ends because people didn’t put in effort or distance or whatever. So if distance was the issue, what you can learn from that is that you aren’t equipped to be in a long distance relationship. There is always something to learn about ourselves when a relationship end or even in a relationship.
  5. Am I willing and ready to put effort into finding someone? I don’t believe in relationships just falling in your lap as you sit at home. I know most people talk about “finding” someone when they weren’t looking. I think its sweet and its very true for people but listen, sis, bro, you need to put in the work. If you aren’t up for it, then you just may not be ready to be with someone.

I think answering these questions will definitely be a good deciding factor of whether or not you are ready for something new.

How did you know you were ready for a new relationship? 

Also, I will have a relationship post every Thursday for the next few weeks!!

Day 3: What is your relationship status

and how do you feel about itimg_0714

Welcome to day 3 of my writing challenge. I almost didn’t make it today, but lets get on with it. The writing prompt is, what is your relationship status and how do you feel about it?

My relationship status is, SINGLE AF

There are days where I feel really deep loneliness, loneliness only a romantic partner can fulfill. There are days where I wish for experiences that I desperately want to share with a partner. There are days when I really need someone to confide in and simply “sit” with. My singleness sometimes worries me because marriage is a real desire of mine and because of my current relationship status, I can’t see it happening any time soon. Some days, I do look at couples and think, wow, you are so lucky to have found love that loves you back. save your not everything on social media is real comment, I be knowing. Some days, I do wonder if anyone would love me romantically, and choose me to be their life partner.

Most days, I am okay with my relationship status as SINGLE AF. Some days, I am actually happy about it. Some days I am not even aware of it because I am surrounded by people who love me, although they cannot fulfill me on a romantic level, it doesn’t make their love any less fulfilling. Parents love their children and it is a deep love but they cannot occupy the space of a life partner. right? but is doesn’t make their love any less. Some days, I am convinced my singleness is for something greater than me and for those days, I do not crave relationship or marriage. I like those days. I never want to desire something so desperately that it has the ability to make me or break me. Although, I want a romantic relationship with sweet man, I am satisfied with how things are. Loneliness sucks but it is also bearable.

The truth about romantic relationship is that it is joyful and it a good thing but singleness can be those things as well. No ones relationship status is better than the other.

If you have a partner, I hope that person brings you joy and I hope you do the same for that person. I hope that person adds to your life and brings out the best in you. I also pray that your love will last and keep growing stronger. I hope you live a life of adventure, peace and kindness with your partner. Ah, I pray ease for tough days and lots and lots of grace for each other.

For my SINGLE AF peers, who want a relationship, ah I feel you and I am with you. I understand the struggle. But I also understand that God cares about your desires. He will fulfill them according to His will for your life. I pray that you do not take your singleness as this torturous affair you have to endure. But use it in a way that is benefiting to you and the people around you. I am also praying for you to find someone who delights in you the same way you delight in them. I hope that your waiting pays off. I pray that God gives you the strength to keep waiting and not settle for anything that maybe dangerous for you out of desperation.

Finally, no matter who you are. No one can make you whole. That is The Almighty’s job and that is what He does. He alone can satisfy any deep desires of your heart. He is enough.