Tag Archives: reading

January 2018 wrap up+Life Lately

this is a long one.

I’m having one of those sleepless nights and I figured why not write my last post for January 2018. I really wasn’t planning on writing this because I genuinely do not know where January went. People keep complaining about how long January has been and I’m saying to myself, “I can’t relate fam!!” I wish the days were longer.

I am also writing to attend to my heart. I’ve just been on the go about a certain specific thing and just focused on that so much that, I’ve literally put “all the feels” away. I think that it has finally caught up with me, hence why I am up writing  this late. I’m sure I will be back focusing on “tasks” tomorrow. But this morning, lets share all the feels.

life lately

  • I am really struggling to trust right now. I don’t really have much to say on this but the fact that I am. I don’t really like the feeling. I’m struggling with people taking their words lightly on very important issues. My biggest dilemma is figuring out if someone is not trustworthy based on one instance, thus completely disqualifying them from the people you are vulnerable with or to take the one instance for what it was as one and not hold it over the person head. I’m leaning more towards the latter.  But if you can’t trust someone with your heart, can you really trust them with anything else? I don’t know. I’m still figuring things out.
  • I probably won’t be blogging as much in February if at all because I have like 3 big things coming up that is absolutely freaking me out but I am also excited about. I cannot wait to share.
  • I’ve been thinking a lot about how my life would be if I never have a partner. There is nothing written anywhere that that we will all find someone, but for me, I’ve always thought I would, so I always look forward to that day. But the truth is, that day might never come and I still have to carry on and carry on well. So, lately, I’ve been trying to decide what living well by myself will look like. I want reach a place where I have this solid balance of joy in singleness and hope in meeting my person.
  • everything rides on hope now, everything rides on faith somehow, when the world has broken me down, Your love sets me free- Addison Road

  • Lately, I’ve just been baffled with the idea of people thinking they are helping but in reality they are not. For an example, a random example… someone will say to an alcoholic, “I am not drinking alcohol in front of you because I don’t want you to relapse.” This isn’t bad in itself, but the baffling thing for me is that the person made this decision all on their own without consulting the person they THINK they are helping. I guess instead of assuming you know what is best for someone, just ask, “how can I help you? how can I make things easier for you? would it help if I did this thing or that thing?” People need to just ask. You don’t make decisions for people without their knowledge. I’ve just been feeling or seeing that in my own life and I am annoyed by the arrogance.
  • I am interested in starting a separate natural hair blog, please don’t roll your eyes because I too know there are already many out there. But the many doesn’t include type 4 naturals or kinkier textured hair type, so I want to fill that space. I am thinking more about it and if I decide, it will probably launch by summer time. And yay for me, I will have access to my friends who can take pictures of me. I’m pretty sure I am going to annoy them but eh…
  • Lately, I’ve been trying to be more cheerful, you know live a yellow-ass life but I feel like I am doing it the wrong way. I’m pushing things aside, pretending I don’t feel certain things and just feeling good on the surface. I want to find a way to be authentic about where my heart truly is yet cheerful. 
  • Lately, I’ve been listening to some really good “new” music- new as in, new to me. I don’t really share my love for music here but it really gives me so much joy. Like I can hear a tune and just feel so grateful for music and that I can hear it. hmmm.
  • I also made a basic vision board. But I like being basic because it encompasses how I want my life to be. YELLOW. I’m going to be buying a lot of yellow things in the next few months. hahaha because why not?

  • Lately, I’ve been thinking about death and how in most cases it happens without notice. It reminds me that negative feelings, especially about people do not matter. Why be upset with someone when you can love on them? or even more important why lose your peace because of anger towards someone? Don’t get me wrong, most feelings are valid, but I guess when I think of death, some of the feelings seem like wasted energy. It is also pushing me to attend to things that I am passionate about. But right now, in this moment, I can say that I am not afraid of death. I just want to live with the knowledge that I can die at any moment and that while I am life I am called to live fully. I think sometimes, for most of us, we don’t live the life we want because we think we have time. But we don’t. Right now, I am trying to figure out the life that I want then I am going to pursue it like I know my death is imminent. This is not meant to sound morbid, but really think about it, how would you live your life differently if you accept the fact that you don’t really have a lot of time on this earth. Who would you surround yourself with? where would you go? what would you do with your money? what career would you pursue?

January goals

  • Read the book of common prayers everyday
    • This did not happen. I went strong for about 20 days then I started reading other plans that were needed for that time.
  • Go to the gym at least twice a week
    • This also didn’t happen. I did go 4/8 times. My bank account probably laughs at me every time I complain about money because it sees me just throwing it away to my gym membership. Fix it Jesus
  • Read 2 books
    • Listen, I started 3 books. I didn’t finish any. Why am I like this?
  • Drink more water
    • did that
  • No fast food….Ahhhhh I just thought of chick Fil a. Maybe be just once this month?
    • Prior to making this a goal, I wasn’t really frequenting fast food joints “like that” so I thought this was going to be easy. I had fast food so many times I literally lost count.
  • Visit my nephew and niece at least 4 times this month
    • This didn’t happen either. I did “run” into them once and my niece was asking me not to go. I’m a really crappy aunt. I need to spend more time with them.
  • Pray for people every Sunday I go to church despite how I’m feeling emotionally
    • check

I am not really setting any goals for February because as mentioned, I have a couple of big things coming up and I just want to focus on that for now. But I may write a blog post here and there when I feel inclined to. But will be back to regular posting in the later part of March.

How has life been for you lately? How are your goals coming along?

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Stay with Me by Ayobami Adebayo book review

Synopsis

Yejide and Akin have been married since they met and fell in love at university. Though many expected Akin to take several wives, he and Yejide have always agreed: polygamy is not for them. But four years into their marriage–after consulting fertility doctors and healers, trying strange teas and unlikely cures–Yejide is still not pregnant. She assumes she still has time- …more

My thoughts

I have such mixed feelings about this book. When I started reading it, I couldn’t put it down but towards the end of the book, I couldn’t really bring myself to finish it. But I did finish it eventually. I think I began struggling at the end of the book because it felt like a story that had been told before. It really reminded me of a book I had read before, so I kept thinking about that book.

I hate to say, but the book was a bit predicable but I still loved the topics it tackled like sickle cell, impotency, politics, relationships, etc… Although I’m into books that cover more than one topic, I do not like when books attempt to be political but then leave its audience hanging. Ayobami Adebayo makes several references to some kind of civil unrest that was happening but it was never fully realized. I get that wasn’t a main topic but merely a subject that brought Yejide and Akin together, but for my personal satisfaction, I would have enjoyed reading more of that.

Akin’s impotency broke my heart but also really upset me. I was upset because of the things Yejide had to go through and how he watched her go through them without confessing. That is a twisted and prideful way to love someone. I detested Akin for conniving with his brother to sleep with his wife, it just shows how much of a coward he was. But it also shows how desperate he was to show that he was a man and could have children especially since he was getting so much pressure from his mother.

Overall, I think it was a very good first book and I am looking forward to reading the next thing she writes.

Have you read Stay with me?

When Dimple met Rishi by Sandhya Menon Book Review 

issa book review! You can get When Dimple Met Rishi by clicking on the link. It is an affiliate link, so do purchase it through me, IF you want to read the book!!

My thoughts

First of all I really loved the cover of the book, that’s how I was drawn to the book to begin with it and also the attention it had gained over the summer. I think it was on EVERYONE’S reading list at some point this year. So I’m pretty late to the reviews, but you if you haven’t read it and you love coming of age stories, I think you will really enjoy it.

I really loved the topics Menon tackled and the different point of views. Dimple and Rishi are both first generation immigrants from India but their views were so different. Rishi desired to stay connected with his Indian roots and he was more traditional compared to Dimple who seem to want nothing or very little to do with tradition, and was more modernized. This was a relatable topic for me as an immigrant from Ghana who grew up in the states and just navigating through my various identities, especially when I was a teenager.

I also like how Menon tackled marriage and career. Even in 2017, I still think many people still believe that a woman can’t have both, which was Dimple’s dilemma. She thought she had to give up something she loved, either coding or Rishi. I think most women have been thought to feel that way and honestly sometimes, it is the case when kids come into the picture. Because they were teenagers just starting college, they were able to have both. I wonder if this book was about a couple in their mid-20’s or early 30’s it would have ended the same way for Dimple.

Things I didn’t really care for were the extra characters, the aberzombies, you know, the cool kids in highschool who didn’t have a single thought in their head and wore abercrombie and fitch like it was their uniform? I didn’t care for it because I never really cared for those people in highschool when I was there, ages ago. The truth is no one should have time for people whose ultimate goal is to make you feel bad about yourself, for something as vain as money. Not even their own money but their parents or grand-parents money at that.

I thought the book was funny and light. It was a good read. I will rank it 3.5/5

Summary from goodreads.com

Dimple Shah has it all figured out. With graduation behind her, she’s more than ready for a break from her family, from Mamma’s inexplicable obsession with her finding the “Ideal Indian Husband.” Ugh. Dimple knows they must respect her principles on some level, though. If they truly believed she needed a husband right now, they wouldn’t have paid for her to attend a summer …more

Have you read this book? What did you think?