Dealing with Sexual Desires as a Single Woman

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It is not often that I talk about anything sex related with anyone let alone with people I do not know. So bare with me as I navigate through this topic and try to be as clear and honest as possible. But I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while now I just didn’t know where to start, but after listening this podcast today, I felt like I should brave it. I recently wrote about being bold, so here goes…

My Past:

When I entered college, I was curious about so many things and so I satisfied my curiosity by taking so many different classes outside my field of study. I took a lot of Women Studies classes and there I developed ideologies that went against things I’ve always known to be truth. I believed people could engage in any kind of sexual pleasures they desired. I believed that people didn’t need to be restricted because after all it was their body. I believed ALL sex workers chose to be in the profession they were in, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with watching pornography.

When I started dating, there were definitely certain things I wouldn’t do but there were other things I didn’t mind doing. I didn’t do certain things not because I felt it was wrong but I was just shy. Now I know certain things are morally wrong.

What changed

I’ve been so pro-sexual “freedom” that getting ready to type what I want to say is stressing me out. It is always hard when you change and people do not recognize you or you feel like people won’t accept the new you so you try and hide. But I won’t hide and my past is my past.

There is absolutely no freedom in doing whatever you want sexually. When we give into every sexual desire, that is when our desires take control of us and lead us to dangerous places. There is absolutely no reason to watch porn as it affects you the viewer and the people committing the sexual acts, some of these people are doing these acts against their will. Giving your body away to just anyone is dangerous physically and emotionally.

I’ve decided to lead life that isn’t controlled by my sexual desires. I am not a very sexual person in general but I think I can speak for all of us when I say there are those days when there are “urges.” I wanted to share some tips with you on how to take charge of your body and life and have control over your sexual desires. These things have worked for me for so many years.

Set boundaries when you are dating. For people who want to avoid giving into their sexual desires, YOU HAVE to set really clear boundaries when you meet someone you want to date. People view dating differently and expect different things after a night out so it is important to disclose what your boundaries are up front. I’ve personally decided not to kiss anyone I am simply getting to know or dating. I have missed out on people because of that but it is definitely something I am okay with it even though in stung a little.

Limit physical touch or inappropriate touching with people that are not your partner.  

FIGHT OR FLEE. I prefer flee…

Literally, run away, walk away, do a light jog away from people that you’re really attracted to that you know might lead you do something sexual you’re uncomfortable with. Lets be real, God created some beautiful people ahh!!

What really helped and changed me was my relationship with God. Containing my sexual desires have been possible and even joyful because I know the real freedom is not giving into everything I feel. Although I am free to feel, I can choose to not be consumed. I have been able to set boundaries without fear of losing people because I am convinced if the person is for me, they will honor my boundaries. If we ask God for anything He will definitely answer us so we can always ask Him to help us deal with any sexual desires.

How do you deal with your sexual desires?

New “About” description

I hope the month of June brings you unimaginable joy. shereenawrites sunset photo

I’ve been blogging for a while now, even before it became and thing and people started making money from it. I used to love blogs because I got to see glimpses of peoples life no matter where they were in the world, and that is why I started blogging. To tell stories, to write better and to share a bit of my world. I always secretly wish one day, my kids will read it and know a bit more about their mother and maybe find some helpful gems here when my voice irritates them.

After I monetized my blog last year, I felt the need to write about things that will help me gain traffic. I tried to master the things that the gurus were saying worked and followed their schedule and times they posted, and to be frank with you, it sucked and I couldn’t be bothered. So, I stopped writing all together.

But now I am back and I am taking it back to when blogs were simply about sharing. I am writing for people, and for myself and my future kids. I will no longer be writing for numbers and money on this blog.

Moving forward, I will just be writing what I like.

shereenawrites waterfall photo

New About Page Description

Hi, my name is Shereen and welcome to my space. The title of my blog was inspired by one of my favorite books of all time, Steve Bantu Biko’s, I Write What I Like. Steve Biko was known for being bold and courageous and for encouraging people to do the same during the dark days of apartheid, South Africa. This book and Steve Biko’s life has stuck with me for a while and my goal is write boldly and freely and encourage people to do the same. So on this blog, you find four categories:

  1. Lifestyle: Here, I will be sharing what my life looks like. I will be sharing some fun things I make, random thoughts, life updates, stories, and beauty related posts.
  2. True Life: This is where I will share about my struggles, my raw and honest emotions. I share this part of me on my blog to let anyone who happens to read this blog know that, truly they are not alone. My greatest desire is to let me people know, really know, that they are not alone and they are not the only ones struggling through life. Here is where I’ll lay my heart down and share all my feels. It gets deep and intense.
  3. Faith: This is a Christian blog, meaning my faith plays a huge role in how I perceive things and how I write things. Here, I hope God speak to you through my writing. Here, I write for God. God speaks to me in my writing, because my answers always show up in them. I hope my writings does the same for you. I will be sharing confessions and some of my prayers for you.
  4. Books: Books are my escape. They are truly my joy. I don’t read as much anymore, because life. But writing book reviews for you all encourages me to read more books. So you already guessed, this is where I will share my book reviews and any book related topics.

I hope something I write sparks something in you to be bold and free in everything you do. And I wish you the very best in life.

 

**If you use any of content or pictures, please link it back to this blog. Thank you**

1: Weekly Confessions

Christian weekly confessionsHere are some weekly truths for all us. Say them out loud or in your heart.

  • God is enough for me
  • I am not afraid to let people in because it is God who protects me
  • I am deeply loved by God
  • “Fear is just a liar running out of breath”
  • I have joy
  • I am not afraid of bad news
  • I trust in God’s infinite wisdom and infinite goodness.

What are some truths you are holding on to this week?

I was inspired by the girls from The Transparency Blog for the post. Do check them out by clicking on the link HERE