How to stop waiting for someone to make you happy

I realized after my last relationship that I was one of those people that sit around waiting for someone to make them happy.

I didn’t like discovering this truth about myself.

Although we came into this world alone, we were also created for relationships, but not to be codependent on people. For me, finding happiness outside of my relationships was something I found impossible to do. But I knew I had to change because the truth is, everything in this life is temporary and no one is guaranteed to be around for as long as you’d like them to be. Also, there is no guarantee that we will all find our “person” or soulmate or significant other who is going to come into our lives and brighten it up and bring us happiness. No person holds your happiness or mine.

I’m sharing how I’ve learned or how I am learning to stop waiting for people to make me happy.

bojo beach in ghana

  • Accept your alone-ness- I’m trying to not sound harsh. But if you are single right now, KNOW and ACCEPT and BELIEVE that you are single! You are single. You are alone! Really believe that. Being alone maybe to temporary or permanent, but once you’ve accepted this truth about your situation, you will be inclined to start looking out for yourself and finding happiness for yourself instead of waiting for someone.
  • Engage in what brings you joy- If reading brings you joy, please read all the books. If music brings you joy, sing all the songs and play all the music. Do not waste time doing things that do not make you happy. Do not engage in things you feel blah about. You cannot afford to do that. so don’t.
  • Build relationships- Naturally when people are in romantic relationships , especially ones where they depended on the other person fr happiness, they tend to drift away from their friends and family. This alone time is the perfect opportunity to build relationships you’ve allowed to fall off. I really hope you have good friends and family who will take you back. Rebuilding relationships with people who care about you has a way of reminding you that, you already have enough.
  • Meet new people- Lately, I’ve discovered I really enjoy meeting new people, I’m still really awkward but its really nice to engage with people with no expectations.
  • Be yourself- There is so much joy in being yourself and even having the opportunity to be yourself. You literally do not have to worry about anyone thinking the movies you enjoy are too boring or that your music sucks! This freedom alone is happiness within it self.
  • Take care of yourself- For me, taking care of myself reminds me that I matter, and I deserve to be taken care of. And if no one is going to do it, which no one is obligated to, then I am able to do it myself.

I really just hope that this helps anyone who is waiting for someone to make them happy. I also hope that, happiness finds you. You are so precious and you deserve happiness.



Life Lately: Autumn 2017


I have been wanting to write a post for a while now but I have not been able to bring myself to it. For me, when I step away from something for so long, I usually do not know how to come back to it. But I’m doing it. I am writing again. And I am so glad about it.

Autumn really awakens my soul. So, although I have been MIA all summer, now, feels like a good time to begin writing again. Autumn in a way is my New Year.

Life has been, well you know… you probably don’t know, but I can’t seem to find the words to define how life has been lately. Its been really bitter, but with hints of sweetness.

These past few months were a really bitter season for me. One of the most unimaginable things happened to me and I simply couldn’t take it. I went through a terrible season of depression where I literally felt that there was no reason to live. I was down for months, randomly crying in public places, battling with my weight, and just experiencing really deep sadness. I didn’t think I was going to survive. I do not exaggerate when I tell you this, I had never felt such pain in my entire life.

But rose my friends and family. The sweet. In the midst of this deep sadness, came deep relationships. The sweetest of them all being with my Heavenly Father.

taste and see that the Lord is good

I don’t want to be preachy, but God really showed up in my pain. He didn’t take away the pain or even ease it as quickly as I would have liked, because to be honest, as I write this instant, I feel a ping of it lingering. What God did do, was show up. Be with me. I experienced the companionship of the Holy Spirit and it was so near, so real. I discovered there is evil in the world, but it doesn’t go unseen by our good Father. He is well aware, and His Kingdom will surely come and He would make all things right. So I knew, even if I feel pain, for as long as I live, when I am resurrected and when the Kingdom has come, I will feel that pain no more. So, pain is temporary. This might not sound hopeful because we are mortals and we cannot see the big picture, so we will continue to seek relief from pain, as we should, in the right way. But I just wanted to share this truth that, when the Kingdom of God comes, nothing else would matter, so if you are going through a tough time, rest in that! I also know that this is easier said than done.

Life lately has consisted of a lot of tears and praying. But I am so glad to be blogging again. I have book reviews for you all and so many feels to write about.

for such a time as this

How has life been for you lately?


may joy meet you in the morning

IMG_1982 (2)Happy New Month

early in the morning, I will celebrate the light, when I stumble in the darkness, I will call Your name by night

In my last post I wrote about how tough the last few weeks have been, you can read about it HERE. Usually, I leave it all here and don’t come back to tell about my okay days, and the mornings when joy met me by the time my feet touched the floor.

God has been showing up

But in unexpected ways.

At my lowest, sometime last week, I kept repeating to myself, ” I have no one, I absolutely have no one.” but I know this is a lie. There was this battle in my heart, where I wanted to keep saying “I have no one” but I felt in my heart that i really didn’t believe it and it was the enemy willing me to say it enough so I would believe it.

you can have all this world, give me Jesus

My hearts desire

Everything isn’t all of sudden perfect, God didn’t perform some magic trick and all of sudden my life was golden. God didn’t make the pain go away. But what God did was remove the hopelessness from my heart and replace it with peace. God gave me strength to wake-up and accomplish the tasks before me with a clear mind, I still cried when I laid down, but I got shit done. God gave me a song and he softened my heart and I was able to let go of my pride.

I don’t know how tomorrow is going to look like but today, I am okay. I am okay with the mess and the tears. I am okay with the sadness, and hopeful that it will pass. I am okay with the fact that tomorrow might be a struggle but thankful that God is already there waiting to meet me and hold me.

God is good. I am thankful that I know this truth…

You have no rival, You have no equal, now and forever God you reign. Yours is the kingdom. Yours is the glory. Yours is the name above all names.

I just pray peace over anyone who stumbles on this post. I pray for peace and grace in whatever situation you’re going through. I pray the Lord will give you rest, and that you find joy in the morning.