Tag Archives: inspiration

For the Single Person on Valentine’s Day

I was wrestling with writing about this topic because I am not sure what the purpose of it would be for you all and I don’t really think I am the person to write about this, at this time. But it HAS been on my heart to write about singleness and I think the day before Valentines Day is a good time.

In the last month or so, I have been fighting with the temptation of settling into a relationship, any relationship. For me settling looks like being with a man just to say I have a man, and that being the sole reason.  My intention was to dismiss the things I care about having in a partner and just be with someone, anyone, who liked me enough and that I could tolerate. I was going to let go of the idea of:

  • having someone I can laugh with
  • someone I have chemistry with
  • someone I can share my bathroom expeditions with (TMI)
  • someone who can pray over me
  • someone who can be compassionate to how I am wired.
  • Someone who teaches me about boldness
  • and someone whose relationship with God is evident, etc…

if you find anyone like this, send them to me!

I didn’t care about any of these things, I just wanted someone, anyone. Besides not caring about these things, I think the root of it all was, that I did’t REALLY BELIEVE that God could give me my heart desire.

I was talking to one of my good friends a few weeks ago (shout out to my peanut butter) about settling in a relationship and it literally scared the heck out of me. I kept telling my friend how I cannot wrap my head around that idea, honestly just thinking about it right now, is giving me “low-key” anxiety. But I am so grateful for the people God has placed in my life and the friend I am referring to just simply told me, “you don’t need to settle. Don’t settle. Just focus on having a really good year” I think I needed that assurance that I didn’t need to settle and it is okay to BE single and there is purpose in singleness.

Look ,I am not here to glorify singleness, because to be frank, it SUCKS! for lack of a better word. It is sometimes painful and it is lonely.

But for me, singleness has really opened my eyes to see the things that God wants to change and do in my life. I’ll list a few:

  • I think God wants to break my pattern of attachment to things outside of Him. Loving someone isn’t bad in itself, its actually a really beautiful thing, but loving someone MORE than The Creator is bad. I think God wants me to know that life is in Him alone.
  • I think God wants to heal me and piece together all my brokenness and MESS.
  • I think God wants me to work on my relationships with my family and form deep friendships. In the past, I’ve only opened up to people I was romantically involved with and failed at having meaningful friendships. I think God wants to fix that.
  • I think God wants to give me joy that can only be found in Him.

I want all these things I mentioned above to happen before I actually get in a relationship. OR I only want God to bring someone in my life who will help me advance in my pursuit of God.

I don’t know what to tell you to make singleness look appealing or even tolerable, because it isn’t for those of us who desire romantic relationship. But I think this season can worth while if it is used wisely and there is less sulking. (the sulking part is definitely for me!)

But, I do pray that you find ease for the lonely nights, ease for when you see all the engagements photos on facebook (should we just delete facebook?), ease for when you are consumed by the failures of past relationships, and ease on valentines day. I pray that you see all that God is showing you and doing in you. 

Most importantly, we are so loved. So deeply. And we know this by just looking at the cross. We know this because Jesus died for us. He chose to die than to leave us in darkness. I am chosen. You are chosen. What a freaking revelation! For me, that is all I’ve ever wanted, to be chosen. I am.

If you’re an unbeliever, this is probably such a hard concept to grasp. It is for us Christians too, don’t worry. But it is the truth, so I hope you can at least rest in that for the days you feel unloved.

Lastly, don’t be bitter and jealous of the people that have partners. Really wish them well. I think bitterness clouds our minds and hearts and prevent good things from penetrating in. So if you feel any kind of bitterness, pray about it don’t mock or speak ill of others romantic relationship.

If you are struggling with singleness and really seeing God at this time, I’ll really love to pray for you. Or if you have any other prayer request, I’ll love to pray for you. I think my email is in my contacts. You can also DM me on INSTAGRAM @yaa_tekyiwaa

How are you dealing with being single? are you dreading valentines day?

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How to become your best self

Happy Saturday,

Hope you’re well. I’m okay. I’m phoneless #firstworldproblems. Hope your day is better than mine. I’ll be sharing my thoughts on how we can become our best selves.

I’m a huge proponent of people being themselves and fully embracing who they are “flaws and all.” But the truth is, sometimes parts of who we are, are rubbish and that’s where grace steps in. And this blog post too.

I think being fully yourself and being your best self is being aware of yourself, celebrating the wonderful things about yourself and changing the worst part of yourself. You become your best self by constantly improving yourself.

For me seeing my flaws and trying to stop doing certain things is tedious for me and quite frankly it overwhelms me. So I think becoming more of something you desire is more positive. For example simply deciding to stop being a sucky person is harder than saying, I’m going to be more generous. Right? Being my best self means that I adopt characteristics that I’d love to have more of or even acquire. These are some things I plan on working on or what I want to become in order to become my best self

  • I want to be a more secure person- Sometimes I struggle with insecurities about looks, intelligence and worthiness. I want to reach the point where I can confidently say I am a secure woman.
  • I want to be nurturer- someone whose vibe is WARMNESS. I want to be home to everyone I encounter even if its just for a few seconds
  • I want to more honest and gentle with my honesty- I’m not a liar or anything, but I just could be more honest.
  • Joyful.
  • I want to be Bold

What does becoming the best you look like?

bojo beach in ghana

How to stop waiting for someone to make you happy

I realized after my last relationship that I was one of those people that sit around waiting for someone to make them happy.

I didn’t like discovering this truth about myself.

Although we came into this world alone, we were also created for relationships, but not to be codependent on people. For me, finding happiness outside of my relationships was something I found impossible to do. But I knew I had to change because the truth is, everything in this life is temporary and no one is guaranteed to be around for as long as you’d like them to be. Also, there is no guarantee that we will all find our “person” or soulmate or significant other who is going to come into our lives and brighten it up and bring us happiness. No person holds your happiness or mine.

I’m sharing how I’ve learned or how I am learning to stop waiting for people to make me happy.

bojo beach in ghana

  • Accept your alone-ness- I’m trying to not sound harsh. But if you are single right now, KNOW and ACCEPT and BELIEVE that you are single! You are single. You are alone! Really believe that. Being alone maybe to temporary or permanent, but once you’ve accepted this truth about your situation, you will be inclined to start looking out for yourself and finding happiness for yourself instead of waiting for someone.
  • Engage in what brings you joy- If reading brings you joy, please read all the books. If music brings you joy, sing all the songs and play all the music. Do not waste time doing things that do not make you happy. Do not engage in things you feel blah about. You cannot afford to do that. so don’t.
  • Build relationships- Naturally when people are in romantic relationships , especially ones where they depended on the other person fr happiness, they tend to drift away from their friends and family. This alone time is the perfect opportunity to build relationships you’ve allowed to fall off. I really hope you have good friends and family who will take you back. Rebuilding relationships with people who care about you has a way of reminding you that, you already have enough.
  • Meet new people- Lately, I’ve discovered I really enjoy meeting new people, I’m still really awkward but its really nice to engage with people with no expectations.
  • Be yourself- There is so much joy in being yourself and even having the opportunity to be yourself. You literally do not have to worry about anyone thinking the movies you enjoy are too boring or that your music sucks! This freedom alone is happiness within it self.
  • Take care of yourself- For me, taking care of myself reminds me that I matter, and I deserve to be taken care of. And if no one is going to do it, which no one is obligated to, then I am able to do it myself.

I really just hope that this helps anyone who is waiting for someone to make them happy. I also hope that, happiness finds you. You are so precious and you deserve happiness.

SAA