Happy New Month
early in the morning, I will celebrate the light, when I stumble in the darkness, I will call Your name by night
In my last post I wrote about how tough the last few weeks have been, you can read about it HERE. Usually, I leave it all here and don’t come back to tell about my okay days, and the mornings when joy met me by the time my feet touched the floor.
God has been showing up
But in unexpected ways.
At my lowest, sometime last week, I kept repeating to myself, ” I have no one, I absolutely have no one.” but I know this is a lie. There was this battle in my heart, where I wanted to keep saying “I have no one” but I felt in my heart that i really didn’t believe it and it was the enemy willing me to say it enough so I would believe it.
you can have all this world, give me Jesus
My hearts desire
Everything isn’t all of sudden perfect, God didn’t perform some magic trick and all of sudden my life was golden. God didn’t make the pain go away. But what God did was remove the hopelessness from my heart and replace it with peace. God gave me strength to wake-up and accomplish the tasks before me with a clear mind, I still cried when I laid down, but I got shit done. God gave me a song and he softened my heart and I was able to let go of my pride.
I don’t know how tomorrow is going to look like but today, I am okay. I am okay with the mess and the tears. I am okay with the sadness, and hopeful that it will pass. I am okay with the fact that tomorrow might be a struggle but thankful that God is already there waiting to meet me and hold me.
God is good. I am thankful that I know this truth…
You have no rival, You have no equal, now and forever God you reign. Yours is the kingdom. Yours is the glory. Yours is the name above all names.
I just pray peace over anyone who stumbles on this post. I pray for peace and grace in whatever situation you’re going through. I pray the Lord will give you rest, and that you find joy in the morning.
I remember I would see on instagram or hear people calling themselves, wanting, claiming, inspiring to to be the proverbs 31 woman. Up until this point I had never really read it, I knew bits and bobs of it, but it annoyed me so much that I didn’t feel the need to subject myself to such torture. I didn’t know why people wanted to be her so badly.
Bible or not, no one was about to tell me what kind of woman I need to be and besides, we know the bible was written by man, although God inspired, I was certain this portion came from their own crazy ideas.
I think my problem with the Proverbs 31 woman was her perfection. Her perfection irritated me. I didn’t want to be her. I didn’t desire to be her. I made it a point to dismiss any man who ever sought out the Proverbs 31 woman. I can say, I have not met any yet. Thank God. All jokes aside, I didn’t really care for this woman.
Proverbs 31 is a chapter in the bible I avoid just like the book of Revelation. They are both scary. But a few weeks ago, I stumbled upon Proverbs 31 and directly went to the part where the “good wife” is described. I was going to read it and make my arguments about it and blog about it. Haha. But there I was, reading these verses, and I kept thinking to myself this isn’t about perfection or about a woman DOING IT ALL, but it’s about wisdom. It is located in the book of wisdom, as proverbs is described to be, after all. So, although it is geared towards the “good wife” it is for ALL OF US. For everyone. It is a way of living and being the best that we can be.
So I’ve broken it down to make more sense of it and make it easily digestible for the feminist or the modern woman, whatever you call yourself. I’m using the pronoun SHE but I am convinced it is meant for both man and woman. Bible scholars leave me alone.
- She is trustworthy
- She isn’t spiteful
- She is generous
- She is resourceful
- She uses her time wisely
- She is productive
- She is not lazy
- She knows her worth
- She is well-rounded
- She is helpful
- She is compassionate
- She prepares
- She takes care of herself
- She knows how to make profit
- She doesn’t worry
- She is a leader!- She keeps an eye on everyone in her household and keeps therm all busy and productive
- She is appreciated
- She is God fearing
Do you know about the Proverbs 31 woman? What do you think about her?
I am tired and scared!! ALL THE TIME!! This world is getting nastier by the day and this may sound very un-Christian of me but it seems like the enemy is winning this war on God’s people. On us!!
And I feel utterly helpless and hopeless. I am legitimately tired and afraid.
I just want God to shut it all down!! To just come and take us home.
This place is looking like shit!!