Category Archives: personal

True Life: I am undateable

IMG_1878Truth time!

Have you all heard of “RED FLAGS?” If not, “red flags” are warning signs; behaviors that you should literally RUN AWAY from when you notice them in someone you are dating. “Red flags” aren’t minor flaws about a person, like the person who chews too loudly and snort when they laugh. No. “Red flags” are character flaws that someone can ruin another person with, for that reason, every relationship guru will advise you to FLEA from such a person.

Some of these “red flags” are:

  • someone who abuses alcohol and drugs
  • someone who monitor your every move
  • someone who is physically rough with you
  • someone who doesn’t like to work (irresponsible), etc…

These are just some examples but there are definitely more, right? These characteristics or behaviors doesn’t make the person a bad person, but dating someone who show any of these “red flags” can and will affect your future and your happiness.

So I attended a class at my church and as we were going over some of these “red flags,” I had this uneasy feeling about them. I kept wanting to relate them to the people I’ve dated in the past. I wanted to justify why it didn’t work out with them. I thought maybe, they had these “red flags” and I escaped them. But as we kept going over some of these red flags, some of them kept pointing at ME not them I said to my friends,

I am the red flags

What a revelation right?

These are some of the behaviors and characters I have that are “red flags:”

  • expecting my partner to drop everything for me
  • blaming others or situations for my problems
  • selfish
  • having mood swings, etc…

I have more, but I don’t feel the need to go through all of them. But the realization that I possessed these characteristics that someone can look at as a warning sign or “red flag” literally scared me. Because that means that I’m not dateable. For me, I will waste no time running away from someone like me, so why should I offer myself with these flaws to someone else. No one deserves that.

Although I am worried about the fact that I am undateable, now, I am committed to changing these things about myself and really finding the root causes of why and how I ended up this way. I’m sure it will be difficult but if and when I come out on the other side, I trust I will make someone happy. (assuming I’m not called to singleness. hahaha) So there is hope!

If after reading this, you discover that you too are undateable, do not feel upset about it but be grateful that at least you have this awareness. What you do with it, is up to you!

What are some of your “red flags?”


4: Taking Stock


Making :  really warm knitted scarves for some of my friends.

Cooking : chicken stew. Its really all I cook these days

Drinking : wine. Because it is a Saturday night and I have absolutely nothing to do

Reading:  Reasons for God by Timothy Keller

Wanting: MONEY! Lets be real (same as 6 months ago)

Looking: for a new job. A better paying job soon (same as 6 months ago)

Deciding: what my next move is (same as 6 months ago. Doing this is really showing me how not much have changed)

Wishing: for rest. I need rest.

Enjoying: my family and friends.

Waiting: for a miracle! (same as 6 months ago)

Liking: snapchat. I’m really into it these days

Wondering: “how long is this going to last?”- this not having enough funds for anything life and feeling lonely ( same answer as 6 months ago)

Loving: the lessons.

Listening: “build my life”- ugh I have forgotten who sang it. I can look it up but I can’t be bothered. I’m sorry it’s late.

Considering: moving out- where is the money tho? ugh (same as 6 months ago)

Buying: I haven’t bought anything in awhile.

Watching: I haven’t been watching much lately. I feel so tired all the time. But I do get in a few youtube videos occassionally

Hoping: for a miracle (same as 6 months ago)

Cringing: at my present state

Needing: money! haha (same answer)

Questioning: my life (same answer as 6 months ago)

Smelling: this head scarf that needs to washed. girl

Wearing: All black everything (OMG same answer as 6 months ago.)

Noticing: nothing really. I feel like I have seen it all

Thinking: ‘How did my life turn out this way?” (same as 6 months ago)

Feeling: unrest or unsettled. not at ease.

Celebrating: A blessing on its way.

Pretending: That I don’t want to cry every second I am awake (same as 6 months ago)

Embracing: life as it is


Do your own Taking Stock post and pinback? I’d like to see what you have been up to.

I have monetized my blog


I know this might be a turn off for most people, but if you’ve been following me for a while, you know my struggle with finances. Sometimes, or most times, I am unable to blog because I am hustling for the dollars. But I really like blogging and its a passion of mine, so I have decided to monetize this blog.

I am writing this because I want to honest with you all, because we tell the truth around here.

I’m still going to write about all the feels and about my faith. I’m still going to do book reviews but will be linking affiliate links for the books. I will go back to writing about my natural hair and beauty here and add affiliate links. What I’m not going to do is spam you with products and I’m not going to pretend to like something I don’t like just to get you all to buy it.

I just want to do what I like and make a little bit of money on the side. So do help a sister out.

I also make things and I will be selling them here.

Below is a link where you can donate to my blog, so I can keep writing what I like.


charitable donations

to help me maintain this blog