Have you all heard of “RED FLAGS?” If not, “red flags” are warning signs; behaviors that you should literally RUN AWAY from when you notice them in someone you are dating. “Red flags” aren’t minor flaws about a person, like the person who chews too loudly and snort when they laugh. No. “Red flags” are character flaws that someone can ruin another person with, for that reason, every relationship guru will advise you to FLEA from such a person.
Some of these “red flags” are:
- someone who abuses alcohol and drugs
- someone who monitor your every move
- someone who is physically rough with you
- someone who doesn’t like to work (irresponsible), etc…
These are just some examples but there are definitely more, right? These characteristics or behaviors doesn’t make the person a bad person, but dating someone who show any of these “red flags” can and will affect your future and your happiness.
So I attended a class at my church and as we were going over some of these “red flags,” I had this uneasy feeling about them. I kept wanting to relate them to the people I’ve dated in the past. I wanted to justify why it didn’t work out with them. I thought maybe, they had these “red flags” and I escaped them. But as we kept going over some of these red flags, some of them kept pointing at ME not them I said to my friends,
I am the red flags
What a revelation right?
These are some of the behaviors and characters I have that are “red flags:”
- expecting my partner to drop everything for me
- blaming others or situations for my problems
- having mood swings, etc…
I have more, but I don’t feel the need to go through all of them. But the realization that I possessed these characteristics that someone can look at as a warning sign or “red flag” literally scared me. Because that means that I’m not dateable. For me, I will waste no time running away from someone like me, so why should I offer myself with these flaws to someone else. No one deserves that.
Although I am worried about the fact that I am undateable, now, I am committed to changing these things about myself and really finding the root causes of why and how I ended up this way. I’m sure it will be difficult but if and when I come out on the other side, I trust I will make someone happy. (assuming I’m not called to singleness. hahaha) So there is hope!
If after reading this, you discover that you too are undateable, do not feel upset about it but be grateful that at least you have this awareness. What you do with it, is up to you!
What are some of your “red flags?”