It’s Me! Hi friends,
Hope you’re well. Can you believe we have 5 months until the year is over? I hope you are making these months count, in whatever you know how.
Life lately has been about learning to simply be still or just rest. I have to confess that I do not know how to do that and it is has been wrecking my whole existence. But I am determined to really learn this and not worry so much about the future because there isn’t much I can do about it.
Books and Podcasts
This is month I’ve read:
- The Shack
- Big Magic
- Hind’s Feet on High Places
- Everybody, Always
I plan on writing book reviews especially for Hind’s feet on high places and Big Magic. These are 2 books I probably need to read every year for the rest of my life.
I have also been really into podcasts lately. I will list my favorites in a different post soon.
I used to be one of those girls that trusted everyone. I used to think that how I thought was how people thought too. I am one of those people that want my friends to depend and count on me to show up for them when they are in need of assistance. But I have learned that what I would do for people isn’t what they would do for me and it is okay. I should accept and be grateful for what they CAN GIVE and not expect anything more.
I always feel weird writing about loneliness because I feel like it is a slap to God’s face, but listen, I know He is with me always but I have to confess that sometimes I feel really alone. I don’t know anyone that fully gets me and I am so tired of explaining myself. But more on this later…
Forgetting the past
The month of July has been so tough for me. Things I thought I had overcame and were in the past came at me, full throttle. I was shaken and blown away
a little a lot. But I am singing and praying through it and I know I have already defeated the enemy. My feelings just need to get aligned with this truth.
I noticed something about myself or I have been able to put a tag on something I have always felt. I realized I never fully believe that I belong or I am welcomed. I can be invited somewhere and something in my brain will tell me I am not truly wanted where I am invited to or that I do not belong there. I cannot really pinpoint when I began feeling that way but I know I’ve felt un-welcomed and as though I am nuisance to everyone. So moving forward, I am just going to resist that thought with everything in me and believe that if people did not want me around they will simply tell me or actually do something to let me know I am not wanted.
deleting this blog
For the last few weeks, I’ve thought extensively about closing this blog. It was just not bringing me joy like it did before. I didn’t really like the content I was putting out and I was just over it all. But I have decided to stick with it for a little longer. I came so close to deleting it and I am so glad I didn’t. I would have actually cried a little.
I will have to say July was an emotionally tough month for me, but it’s a new month and I am praying for something new.
How has life been for you lately?