Self-worth and being busy

I walked into my room and I said to myself, “today was a good day.” Then I started listing all things I got done and I felt really really good.

It reminded me of when I was in undergrad when I would  pull all nighters and brag about my lack of sleep. I would have this feeling of accomplishment, of pride and just happiness because indeed, I was getting shit done. I felt that today. Today, I got shit done and I enjoyed every bit of it. It made me feel good telling people that I’ve been up since 4:00AM and I’ve had such and such amount of coffee and energy drinks, and look at me I am so tired. Ugh I am so tired.

After I had settled down, I started thinking, what is it about us as people that make us feel like over working ourselves is something to boast off. In my eyes, it isn’t. This isn’t for the people who NEED to work those multiple jobs or HAVE to work those long shifts.If this is you, I pray you get a break and get to relax soon.

I am talking about those of us whose sense of worth comes from checking things of our to do list. I’m talking about those of us who just keep going and going for the extra money or position but don’t take the time to enjoy the fruit of our labor. There are some of us who think that we should save all of our money and maybe when we retire, we can finally enjoy. I fit into all these boxes, but the fact of the matter is we aren’t going to live forever. Some of us may never reach retirement. I’m not trying to be morbid and I am not encouraging wastefulness and laziness. Far from that.

I want us to wake up early to get things done but at least use 30 minutes or one hour for a special breakfast if that’s what you’re into or just 30 minutes of playing your favorite songs. Just to pause before you start looking at that to-do list.

Everything I did today had to be done and I am happy I was able to them. But my happiness shouldn’t come from busyness. Overworking myself isn’t something to be proud of. I do not need to do it all to feel like, compared to other, I am not lazy. I know the type of life I want and it is not one of busyness and checking of tasks.

The life I want is a slow and simple one and I really want to focus on that. Really pursue it. I am not going to feel bad for needing a break or guilty for not checking off everything on my list. I am going to prioritize and do what NEEDS to be done and leave it at that and at least do ONE thing for me every week (baby steps huh?) . I will not take pride in getting things done.

Do you feel like you have to busy all the time?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s