It amuses me that I’m about to write about hope and I’m not feeling very hopeful at this moment.
About 3 hours prior to crossing over to the new year I had this burst of anxiety and I haven’t been able to shake it. I’m anxious about 2018 bringing more pain with it. This is so far from what hopeful person should be thinking, so I guess that’s a good word for me after all, huh?
Why I chose this word
In 2017, I felt a hopelessness I’ve never felt before and it was dark and scary. You know the light at the end of the tunnel people are so fond of talking about, I couldn’t see it so I am pretty certain that there was a huge rock blocking it and I was literally suffocating with just feelings of things never getting better for me. I really wish I could share all that happened but I’m really not ready. But it really left me feeling like there is absolutely nothing to live for. I think hopelessness is how the enemy convince us that nothing good is going to come out of our lives and that we are probably better off dead.
I picked hope just to remind myself to trust in the infinite wisdom of God and the infinite goodness of God.
What does hope mean to me
- It means knowing who the source of my hope is- so I plan to really engage with scripture and in prayer. My thought process is this, if God is who He says and I believe that He is who He says he is, then I can put all of hope in Him and trust that, he will not disappoint. Hope is described as a confident assurance.
- It means living with the expectation of seeing the goodness of God in my life
- It means living bold and fearless knowing that God’s got my back.
- It means believing that I’m untouchable and the Good Shepherd watches over me.
- It means peace when I feel like my world is breaking.
- Hope means trusting a God who is Sovereign. Jesus who empathizes with us and Holy Spirit who lives in us.
- It means Selah- pausing and praising
- It means understanding that the Kingdom of God is already here in part, and also anticipating with excitement of the Kingdom being FULLY realized when Jesus steps in.
- It means working hard, believing that it will pay off.
- It means joy and rest
I’ll try and do updates on the word through out the year.
Do you have a word of the year? or did you make an resolution?