Why am I not learning the lessons?

IMG_9027

I’ve been thinking a lot about lessons lately.

One of my favorite things to read from other bloggers are the ones that read something like this; “25 lessons I’ve learned in my 25 years of living,” or “Lessons I learned after dealing with grief.” etc… I love reading about what people have learned or are learning.

So naturally, I began to think of some lessons that I have learned. But I couldn’t really think of any. If someone was to ask me what I’ve learned from dealing with certain things in life, I don’t think I’d be able to tell them. I like to think, maybe I need more time to think about an answer but I am afraid the fact might simply be that I haven’t learned any lessons. I’m leaning more towards the latter.

Sometimes, I feel like I have nothing to write about because I have been dealing with the same things for quite a long time. For example how many times can I write about failure on this blog, how many times can I write about struggle, how many times can I write about being broke, or unhappy, or life being hard? How many times do people want to read that. Especially when people leave me so many thoughtful comments and advice. If I keep writing about these same topics, I wonder if they think their advice or comments go unnoticed.

But the truth is, I am dealing with the same thing. So I wonder if life keep putting me through the same instances because I am not learning the lessons I am supposed to be learning. Does life work like that? Does God?

I’m not making excuses here, but is it only up to me to make changes? Doesn’t my surrounding matter? Meaning my physical space, certain people, external factors, doesn’t that affect my growth? These are factors that I cannot change on my own or as of now, so my internal changes maybe happening, and I actually maybe learning some lessons but it hasn’t materialized based on external factors. Does that make sense?

I want to write about triumph, even the smallest ones. I want to write about how I came out on the other side, I want to write about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, about leaving the valley of the shadow of death unscathed. I want to give a testimony, about the joy that came in the morning and how I didn’t have to fight to see it. But my reality is, I have to fight to see the good, I have to get dirty in the valley for a while, I have to keep using a flashlight in that tunnel and KEEP replacing the batteries. I have to keep taking the test.

What is the most important lesson you’ve learned so far in life?

2 thoughts on “Why am I not learning the lessons?

  1. The lessons that I have learned in life are : always obey rules, go to work early, be kind to others, and more. Wherever we go in life there are lessons to be learned. I liked this blog a lot so thank you for sharing this with others.
    Heather Kendall

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s