Does anyone feel shame having to admit that life is hard?
I remember when I started working at the retail store right after receiving my 2nd degree, it broke my heart knowing that I was going to see people and have to explain to them about why I work where I worked. I couldn’t come up with anything so I started telling people that I dropped out of school. I thought that made more sense than saying that I completed but I don’t have the job that comes with it.
Then I got a 2nd job which isn’t quite a job and I am about 300% underpaid in comparison to what an average graduate is earning in my field. Also, to justify taking this job, I had to tell people the great benefits which it offered which if I’m honest do not think is that great. But for me it was all to keep up the appearance that life isn’t that hard and I got it all together.
But here as some truths:
- I’m not staying with my parents because I’m trying to honor their wishes of being married first before I move out. I simply cannot afford to move out.
- I wasn’t working retail because I wanted to keep busy or because I dropped out of school, I needed the money.
- I’m not at my current job because I love it and it has great benefits, it’s because I needed money and it was one of 3 of the interviews I went on last year after applying to over 100 jobs, maybe 60 but I’m pretty sure i applied to over 100 jobs and I got 3 interviews. This job hired me, the other 2 didn’t. That is the only reason why I work where I work. This is a contract job which ends in a few months and I am so worried.
When I look all around it me, it appears to me that people aren’t struggling with this life thing at all. And I know social media is peachy but even in real life, everyone seems to have it together and I get annoyed with myself, wondering where I went wrong, and why I don’t have it all together.
I have to laugh about it sometimes, because how is anyone between the age of 20-30 years old traveling to Dubai one day, Thailand, next and I am here wondering if I want to buy food or gas. If I want to buy products for my hair or shoes because the cheap ones I bought is already destroyed.
I don’t know what my point with this post but if you are having a tough time with life right now, I am with you! And to pray all of us better days ahead!
And also, do not be deceived, the honest truth is, life is freaking hard!
What are you doing to make your life, less hard?