true life: Life is hard

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Does anyone feel shame having to admit that life is hard?

I remember when I started working at the retail store right after receiving my 2nd degree, it broke my heart knowing that I was going to see people and have to explain to them about why I work where I worked. I couldn’t come up with anything so I started telling people that I dropped out of school. I thought that made more sense than saying that I completed but I don’t have the job that comes with it.

Then I got a 2nd job which isn’t quite a job and I am about 300% underpaid in comparison to what an average graduate is earning in my field. Also, to justify taking this job, I had to tell people the great benefits which it offered which if I’m honest do not think is that great. But for me it was all to keep up the appearance that life isn’t that hard and I got it all together.

But here as some truths:

  • I’m not staying with my parents because I’m trying to honor their wishes of being married first before I move out. I simply cannot afford to move out.
  • I wasn’t working retail because I wanted to keep busy or because I dropped out of school, I needed the money.
  • I’m not at my current job because I love it and it has great benefits, it’s because I needed money and it was one of 3 of the interviews I went on last year after applying to over 100 jobs, maybe 60 but I’m pretty sure i applied to over 100 jobs and I got 3 interviews. This job hired me, the other 2 didn’t. That is the only reason why I work where I work. This is a contract job which ends in a few months and I am so worried.

When I look all around it me, it appears to me that people aren’t struggling with this life thing at all. And I know social media is peachy but even in real life, everyone seems to have it together and I get annoyed with myself, wondering where I went wrong, and why I don’t have it all together.

I have to laugh about it sometimes, because how is anyone between the age of 20-30 years old traveling to Dubai one day, Thailand, next and I am here wondering if I want to buy food or gas. If I want to buy products for my hair or shoes because the cheap ones I bought is already destroyed.

I don’t know what my point with this post but if you are having a tough time with life right now, I am with you! And to pray all of us better days ahead!

And also, do not be deceived, the honest truth is, life is freaking hard!

What are you doing to make your life, less hard?

12 thoughts on “true life: Life is hard

  1. “When I look all around it me, it appears to me that people aren’t struggling with this life thing at all” Don’t it? That is why I go on IG sparingly. I feel like social media makes me feel sooo small, it affects my brain in some unconscious ways. Swear. And you know how I knew? When I stayed off social media for 1 week and came back… I felt like a different person.
    Life hard fe true man.

    — Bless

    Like

    1. Oh wow.. not even paralegal or policy related jobs? Have you looked at the possibility of looking in other states? For instance, I live in the Washington, DC area and although there are a lot of lawyers per capita here, there are also a lot of government related jobs in both Federal gov’t and contracting. If you haven’t already, be willing to also expand your horizons a bit more.. even if it means moving out of state. Do you have any law admin experience or anything? Take up internships or anything in the realm of work .. but again, still be willing to accept that you may not work as an actual lawyer for starters at least. I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough time with this. Just start however small and go from there. Law is getting a little saturated from my research but its not impossible to find something, especially if you’re willing to bend a little and think outside the box with it. All the luck in the world to you, Shereen! This WILL be your year! Believe it more than anything. We’re just getting started.
      XO

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Angela! you really nourish my soul!! thanks!!

        I have had some internship and volunteer experience but they were all in regards to immigration, so I guess its not really transferrable to other areas. But yes, I think i should start looking else where in terms of different career options and places, my heart has been so set on being a lawyer that I haven’t been applying for anything else.

        Like

        1. 🙂 I’m glad I can be somewhat helpful or give some hope. But really, definitely be willing to be flexible. Being stuck on being a lawyer alone may be part of the issue. Don’t focus so much on one target with this. It’s one thing if you had 3, 5, 10 years experience strictly practicing law. I truly think if you widen your search criteria, something will likely come up. It may not be your absolute dream job, but remember you’re also still very young and merely starting out. The more experience you gain, the more you will be able to tailor and narrow down on your path career wise. It sucks I know because I was initially working in a bank at first (for 3 years, which I kind of hated but the longer I stayed, the more fueled I was to get out) but I studied health care admin, so your story is not completely unfamiliar to me. I just put myself in the direction of environment (i.e. I volunteered at least 6 hours a week for 3-4 months at a hospital in the area etc.) and talked to people (I cannot stress this one enough! TALK TO PEOPLE and NETWORK – that’s how I got the lead to my first health care related job. I know it can be hard but drop the shame and let it be known what you want. In the end, it’s your own loss if you just keep it to yourself because your life will not move forward at the end of it all. When I started looking, I thought I would end up doing health policy or even hospital or doctor’s office management, but 2 years later, I’m in health IT/project management. Please don’t give up. You almost have to get so annoyed with your circumstance that you HAVE to persist and find a way. It’ll happen, just keep moving forward in whatever way possible.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for sharing perspective, Shereen. If you don’t mind me asking, what did you study and what city do you live in? Life is indeed very difficult and I for one try not to take anything for granted. This sounds very tough and I hope the light is much nearer than you could imagine or dream! Xo

    Liked by 1 person

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