I don’t know how to start this post. I don’t know. I do not know because I am angry. Let me be more authentic, I am pissed as hell and to be completely honest, I am terrified not only for myself buy most importantly my dear friends who live in the South. Brilliant educated women who know their rights and are bold enough like Sandra Bland to invoke them. I am scared and pissed off.
As Sandra story’s kept developing, I tried to avoid it because I didn’t want it to be true. I didn’t want to know that my skin color can deprive me of the fundamental right I have to freedom of speech. I was scared to find out that, this suicide claim wouldn’t add up which will mean, she was killed or was left to die to the head injury she sustained during her arrest.
If you are not aware of the Sandra bland story. Here is a gist: a young black women drove to Texas for a job interview. She was pulled over for a Texas traffic violation. Upon the stop, she was asked to put out her cigarette by the police who stopped her, she was then asked to step out of the car. Being knowledgeable about the law, she wanted the reason as to why she was being asked to step out. At this point she was angry and began exchanging words with the police man. She eventually steps out, she got arrested, her head was slammed and she brought the cops attention to that fact. His response was “good good” she continued to insult him calling him names like “pussy” ( for my non Americans, this is someone basically telling a man that he isn’t a man) and basically cursing him. Sandra was put in jail a few hours, later, it was released that she committed suicide. From then on there are a lot of conspiracies about her death…
I don’t know what happened in the jail cell but I am quite knowledgeable about the law to firmly state that, the arrest was unlawful. The stop exceeded the time that it had to for the violation she was stopped for.
These past few days, or few years with the rise of crimes against black bodies, I am struggling to find out how to respond as Christian. Like I said, I am pissed off and I want to know how to respond differently, how to respond as a person who knows God is alive, how do I live out my faith and offer grace and love when;
- I live in a country where my black skin makes the interpretation of law different for me.
- Where if I complain about the injustice, I’m told to go back to my country.
- Where an arrest leads to death.
- Where there is a hashtag reminding people that black lives matter.
- Where there is a hashtag with young black people telling families that if they should die in police custody it wasn’t suicide.
- Where I am told that, I need to be soft spoken when I am pulled over.
- That my brothers need to be in doors by a certain time.
- Basically that I am not offered the same freedom as my white counter parts.
I am even more mad that my Christian brothers and sisters are part of the people saying these things
Where is God in all this?
Unlike the families of the 9 shot in Charleston, I cannot look in the face of hate and say “I forgive you.” Because that will make me a liar and fake.
I am sorry if you clicked on this post wanting answers or solutions, but this is just be discussing my struggle as of now. I am praying for clarity of the heart and mind, I am praying for peace and comfort over Sandra’s family and most importantly, justice. I may not know how to respond to these things going on but I am certain that God is an advocate and He fights our battles for us.
I am so grateful for my generation!! You all are activists in your own rights. I see you protesting, tweeting, discussing, instagramming, youtubing, blogging, etc…basically using all channels available to you to get the word out.
Maybe God created us for such a time as this.
I will really love to talk to you about this, email me or leave comment. Tell me what you are doing to create awareness and be a light in your various communities