I haven’t written here in a long while, hope you are doing just fine. As some of you may know I was on holidays in Ghana, and for those who don’t know, that will mean you are just now reading my blog. Thanks for stopping by. I’ve been back in the States for less than a week now and I’ve just been resting and just regrouping.
I haven’t really felt like doing much because I am missing Ghana so much and MA. I’m also struggling with the fact that I’ve moved back home, which as unmarried Ghanaian woman it isn’t a big deal at all, actually, I’m expected to live at home till I get married and my husband come carry me away to his home. But I am struggling with it because while I was schooling for all these years I had my own place, granted I had roommates, I still felt as though I was on my own and I miss that, terribly. My parents aren’t giving me a hard time, like I said, I am expected to live at home till marriage, and if I’m honest, they are doing me a favor by letting me live here rent free, but I am not happy about the situation because I feel like I’m that high school girl again who just stayed permanently in her room and just cried. But I’m not that girl anymore, I just feel that way.
Being back in the States have been a bit difficult for me because, I am a graduate with no job! Having no source of income is proving very painful for me, it has me feeling really down and almost useless. I know very well that, my usefulness or worth doesn’t come from having a job, but again, that is how I feel. Within the past 5 days or so, I’ve applied for many jobs, received some “we regret to tell you, you do not meet our requirements” email messages, but not one interview have I been called about and IT SUCKS!!
I keep hearing “have faith” and “it’s been less than week since you started searching” and “you will find a job,” etc… I am grateful for the positivity round me, but I have found that their encouragement only last for about an hour then I’m back to feeling down again.
I didn’t want to write this post let alone share it because I was afraid that people will question my faith in God or think I am some kind of liar because, I talk about God and how wonderful God is and how God is for us, etc… but here I am not trusting that I will find a job and everything will fall in place. However, I felt the need to share so that people may see that Christians do struggle with their faith too. That Christians are human beings who feel every kind of emotion, including fear.
I will still believe in God’s goodness even if I don’t find a job, but I am allowed to feel sad about it. One thing MA has been pressing on me is “IT IS WELL,” he allows me to complain and share in my stress but always reminds me that “it is well.”
Anyways, following today, I will be sharing the rest of my pictures from my trip to Ghana and really focusing on bringing you a well-rounded blog. I hope to come up with a posting schedule soon.
have a good rest of the week!
much love, SAA!